Alan Stout and Angela Miceli thought they'd found the perfect spot for their wedding party—an attractive home in Seattle's University District, a few minutes walk from the church where they'd say their vows. But when they showed up at the front door, they found the home was already lived in.

A Craigslist scammer had just ruined their wedding—and run off with $3,000.

It wasn't his first time, either.

“I'm like, frick, this happened again,” Brendan Kenny, whose uncle rents out the home, told King5 news. “This is the fourth time in four months!”

Four times in the past four months, Kenny said, the same guy has run the same scam, running off with thousands of dollars in wired cash. Each time Kenny flags the ads as abuse, but they always come back.

It's another sign, if you needed one, that Craigslist is a risky place to do business. You might think, for instance, that the two people coming to buy your Pomeranian are honest, upstanding folks—until they pull a knife, grab the dog, and drive off. Others have bought cars on Criaglist, only to find them gone the next morning, stolen back by the seller, who'd kept a pair of keys.

Kenny urges renters to avoid Craigslist entirely, and instead head to legitimate real estate sites that actually vet their advertisements.

Instead of a pleasant house, Stout and Miceli are shacked up in a hotel as they prepare for their August 9 wedding. The show must go on, after all—they've already paid for the church. But they're scrambling to find a place for their friends and family to stay.

There's no word if police are on the case, but Miceli seems more concerned with divine retribution.

"I e-mailed the guy last night, and I told him he is a bad person,” she said. “I told him I hope God's justice would strike upon him.

"If there are any reports of someone getting struck by lightning, that’s the guy!”

H/T and photo via King5 

Lollapalooza was full of missed connections. Literally, there was no cellphone service or Internet and no one could reach anyone else. (Here's one concertgoer's diary.) That won't stop some dude in a neon YOLO wife-beater and pink shades from trying to hook up with the recreational-drug-loving, half-bird-half-human indie-rock dreamgirl he spotted at the Lana Del Rey show.

He didn't get her number because they were "both so into the show," but they "really had a connection," he thinks. To Craigslist! 

Please, never meet.

H/T @samlansky | Photo via Peter Cruise/Flickr

Pet store owner Naomi Berry was just trying to be helpful. She politely texted a Craigslist user to say he or she shouldn't be illegally advertising common snapping turtles for sale in California.

No good deed goes unpunished, as they say.

"Now ur mouth has gotten u in trouble... I'll be there soon..." the turtle seller told Berry. "I know where ull be every day... so I can show up whenever I want."

Along with the threatening text messages, Berry spotted a Craigslist ad offering illegal American alligator hatchlings. The now-removed listing, which was completely fake, appeared to be from Berry’s Lodi, Calif. exotic pet store, and included the business's address and opening hours. 

"This is someone trying to hurt us, yes," Berry told ABC affiliate News10. "Definitely somebody who is trying to hurt us. Hurt me."

Berry rebuffed the claims in the ad, claiming she's the victim of a smear campaign. Police don't believe the text messages are a tangible threat to Berry. She's more worried about the effect the Craigslist attack will have on her reputation.

Fortunately for Berry, the person behind the harassment hasn’t discovered Yelp, where her business maintains a glowing 4.5-star rating.

Screenshot via News10

The Australian site Gumtree is basically the equivalent of Craigslist, a Internet forum where goods and services can be exchanged. And, like Craigslist, scams can run rampant.

Last week, a 21-year-old Brisbane women posted an ad on Gumtree, looking for two iPhones. Rather quickly, another woman contacted her, saying she had two iPhones for sale. They agreed to meet at a McDonald’s, where the seller handed her two new iPhone boxes, after she paid up the $1,500 AUS they'd negotiated, the equivalent of roughly $1,300 U.S. dollars.

When the customer finally opened the boxes at home, she found out she was not lovin’ it. Inside were actual apples, not an Apple product. A Constable from the Upper Mt. Gravatt Crime Prevention Unit told the Herald Sun that “[I]f something seems too good to be true, it probably is.” The perp has still not been caught.

Gumtree iPhone scams are nothing new, but the trend of scamming people looking for Apple products, then meeting them in a McDonald’s parking lot, was thought to be isolated to America. Apparently it’s reached absurd new heights down under.

Photo via Hyper7/Flickr

The gift of life is so precious that it’s impossible to put a price on, but that didn’t stop one New York City man from trying. He decided a 2-month-old baby was worth at least $100 on Craigslist.

After chatting with a woman online, Paul Marquez of Staten Island was becoming frustrated by all of the attention she was showering upon her 2-month old daughter. Thus, he did what any of us would do: he took out a Craigslist ad and put the baby up for sale.

Twice.

To his credit, Marquez placed the ad in the most appropriate part of the New York City Craigslist: the "baby+kids" section of the "for sale" category. The section typically contains listings for baby clothes and baby accessories—but not actual babies.

"Heyy I have a 2 month old baby name [redacted] she loves to play nd have her little fun but there is only 1 problem, the doctor said that she has asthma nd if she turns a certain way she can stop breathing, she's really getting on my nerves nd I don't want her Please email me," the ad read, according to silive.com.

He capped off the ad with an asking price of $100, the mother's phone number, and a picture of the baby. 

His first posting, on July 29, was quickly deleted, something which Marquez failed to take as a) a hint that the sale wasn't appropriate; b) one last chance at life without a criminal record.

He re-posted the ad on July 30. This time, it caught the attention of people who were not really interested in used strollers and bibs— the NYPD and the New York City Administration for Children's Services.

Marquez was easily tracked down, arrested, and charged with second-degree aggravated harassment, endangering the welfare of a child, and two counts of a social services law violation called "authority to place or board out children."

The mother, who has not been identified, said that someone actually responded to the ad, contacting her about purchasing the baby. 

We can only hope that she won't decide to adopt a dog down the road.

H/T silive.com | Photo via Mike Fenn

Helpful Craigslist posters sounded the raid alarms for lonely military hearts: If you’re seeking hookups in Baghdad, watch out for a military sting.

Recent reports indicated service personnel stationed in the Iraq capital and throughout the Middle East are using the classifieds site for hookups. Some American military members posed for nude photos to entice would-be lovers. It’s not illegal, but the Naval Criminal Investigatave Service is trying to stamp out the practice.

After wide press coverage, both civilians and service members alerted G.I. Joes and Janes of the crackdown.

"Military Be Aware Sting [Operation]," read one listing, spotted by the Air Force Times, that urges randy service members not to explicitly seek sex on Craigslist. Others provided advice on how to seal the deal and still avoid military entrapment. A 26-year-old Seattle guy suggested servicemen and women invite strangers for a drink or workout and let them initiate intimacy, just in case they happen to be investigators.

Other Craigslist users in the States offered hookups when service personnel get back from the Middle East. One post offered two dudes a casual hookup with "a real American wife as a thank you for all you guys keeping us safe." 

Yet the warnings haven't discouraged soldiers from seeking out brothers-in-arms (and -bed). There are still new posts from users hoping to go deep into uncharted territory with some strangers.

Photo via peasap/Flickr

Hello there! Were you on the Internet yesterday? Then you probably were at some point directed by BuzzFeed, Gawker, or your favorite pick-up artist message board to a personal ad that was repeatedly called “the ultimate Craigslist missed connection.”

Leaving aside the matter of the lackluster prose and strained—even tedious—metaphors at work in the piece, we quickly realized that the true entertainment was not to be found in this Personal Creative Writing 101 exercise but in the widely varied reactions to it. For every bit of GIF applause from Orson Welles, there were five other people who missed the point, and missed wide.

For context (you'll need it), here is the original ad in full:

Missed Connection - m4w

I saw you on the Manhattan-bound Brooklyn Q train.

I was wearing a blue-striped t-shirt and a pair of maroon pants. You were wearing a vintage red skirt and a smart white blouse. We both wore glasses. I guess we still do.

You got on at DeKalb and sat across from me and we made eye contact, briefly. I fell in love with you a little bit, in that stupid way where you completely make up a fictional version of the person you're looking at and fall in love with that person. But still I think there was something there.

Several times we looked at each other and then looked away. I tried to think of something to say to you -- maybe pretend I didn't know where I was going and ask you for directions or say something nice about your boot-shaped earrings, or just say, "Hot day." It all seemed so stupid.

At one point, I caught you staring at me and you immediately averted your eyes. You pulled a book out of your bag and started reading it -- a biography of Lyndon Johnson -- but I noticed you never once turned a page.

My stop was Union Square, but at Union Square I decided to stay on, rationalizing that I could just as easily transfer to the 7 at 42nd Street, but then I didn't get off at 42nd Street either. You must have missed your stop as well, because when we got all the way to the end of the line at Ditmars, we both just sat there in the car, waiting.

I cocked my head at you inquisitively. You shrugged and held up your book as if that was the reason.

Still I said nothing.

We took the train all the way back down -- down through Astoria, across the East River, weaving through midtown, from Times Square to Herald Square to Union Square, under SoHo and Chinatown, up across the bridge back into Brooklyn, past Barclays and Prospect Park, past Flatbush and Midwood and Sheepshead Bay, all the way to Coney Island. And when we got to Coney Island, I knew I had to say something.

Still I said nothing.

And so we went back up.

Up and down the Q line, over and over. We caught the rush hour crowds and then saw them thin out again. We watched the sun set over Manhattan as we crossed the East River. I gave myself deadlines: I'll talk to her before Newkirk; I'll talk to her before Canal. Still I remained silent.

For months we sat on the train saying nothing to each other. We survived on bags of skittles sold to us by kids raising money for their basketball teams. We must have heard a million mariachi bands, had our faces nearly kicked in by a hundred thousand break dancers. I gave money to the beggars until I ran out of singles. When the train went above ground I'd get text messages and voicemails ("Where are you? What happened? Are you okay?") until my phone ran out of battery.

I'll talk to her before daybreak; I'll talk to her before Tuesday. The longer I waited, the harder it got. What could I possibly say to you now, now that we've passed this same station for the hundredth time? Maybe if I could go back to the first time the Q switched over to the local R line for the weekend, I could have said, "Well, this is inconvenient," but I couldn't very well say it now, could I? I would kick myself for days after every time you sneezed -- why hadn't I said "Bless You"? That tiny gesture could have been enough to pivot us into a conversation, but here in stupid silence still we sat.

There were nights when we were the only two souls in the car, perhaps even on the whole train, and even then I felt self-conscious about bothering you. She's reading her book, I thought, she doesn't want to talk to me. Still, there were moments when I felt a connection. Someone would shout something crazy about Jesus and we'd immediately look at each other to register our reactions. A couple of teenagers would exit, holding hands, and we'd both think: Young Love.

For sixty years, we sat in that car, just barely pretending not to notice each other. I got to know you so well, if only peripherally. I memorized the folds of your body, the contours of your face, the patterns of your breath. I saw you cry once after you'd glanced at a neighbor's newspaper. I wondered if you were crying about something specific, or just the general passage of time, so unnoticeable until suddenly noticeable. I wanted to comfort you, wrap my arms around you, assure you I knew everything would be fine, but it felt too familiar; I stayed glued to my seat.

One day, in the middle of the afternoon, you stood up as the train pulled into Queensboro Plaza. It was difficult for you, this simple task of standing up, you hadn't done it in sixty years. Holding onto the rails, you managed to get yourself to the door. You hesitated briefly there, perhaps waiting for me to say something, giving me one last chance to stop you, but rather than spit out a lifetime of suppressed almost-conversations I said nothing, and I watched you slip out between the closing sliding doors.

It took me a few more stops before I realized you were really gone. I kept waiting for you to reenter the subway car, sit down next to me, rest your head on my shoulder. Nothing would be said. Nothing would need to be said.

When the train returned to Queensboro Plaza, I craned my neck as we entered the station. Perhaps you were there, on the platform, still waiting. Perhaps I would see you, smiling and bright, your long gray hair waving in the wind from the oncoming train.

But no, you were gone. And I realized most likely I would never see you again. And I thought about how amazing it is that you can know somebody for sixty years and yet still not really know that person at all.

I stayed on the train until it got to Union Square, at which point I got off and transferred to the L.

The allegorical ad, revealed in the Village Voice to have been authored by Raphael Bob-Waksberg, did net the author some “fun email” that no doubt tried to match the thoughtful tone employed. Meanwhile, others didn’t do much thinking at all. In fact, the comments on BuzzFeed’s repost soon turned into a warzone as certain questions and dismissals caused a general uproar about reading comprehension. Here, without additional commentary, are 10 of our favorite dumb reactions. (Warning: Some of the language is NSFW.)

Oh, and here’s a bonus clunker from Gawker:

Photo by Rob Nguyen/Flickr

With $60 million you can buy 233 trips to space, a fifth of the Washington Post, or a private Caribbean island resort.

Powerball winner Paul White has more modest dreams. He's eyeing a 22-year-old, $30,000 car on Craigslist.

White was one of the three winners of the $448 million jackpot. He opted for a lump sum check for $149.4 million and is taking home about $58.3 million after taxes.  In his charming press conference, White admitted there's a cherry Acura NSX on Craigslist he's tracked for a few months that he's keen on.

The exact car he described doesn't seem to be listed right now. But if this ad is any indication, White's public admission may have just inflated prices for the Acura NSX across Minneapolis:

White and his family apparently have habit of developing deep emotional connections to cars. He's planning to buy the first car his dad ever owned—a 1963 Impala. His 80-year-old father still has a picture of it hanging in his home. 

H/T Jalopnik | Photo via raresmdutu/Flickr

Adults have Uber. Teens have Twitter.

That's where Earl Barkley of Atlanta turns when he sleeps in. "I tweet, 'Can anyone give me a ride to school today? I'll buy you breakfast.' I've done it with strangers and I've done it with friends," he told YouthRadio's Bianca Brooks.

Teens have hitched rides for generations. But these days, they're more likely to ask for a ride online than stick out a thumb on a busy road.

Brooks, a teen herself, only takes rides from people she knows, though many teens and young people hop into strangers' cars. She says that using Facebook or Twitter is easier than calling around friends, since your posts are public and can even be made searchable with hashtags.

And when they need to get somewhere farther than school, Brooks suggested teens are turning to Craigslist, a much more dangerous option by any stretch of the imagination.

The report suggests teens don't care about cars in the way kids of the '70s did. They're more interested in pooling resources and getting from point A to point B than decking out their own convertibles.

"[Y]ounger generations grew up sharing things online, sharing files, sharing photos, sharing music, so they've been very used to sharing," said Juliet Schor, a sociology professor at Boston College.

The car, Brooks argues, was a symbol of freedom for her mom's generation. For her own generation, technology is the path to greater independence, affording teens access to more services while sharing the costs with their peers.

H/T NPR | Photo via topxmuffin/Instagram

Some fans would do just about anything to meet their musical idols. In the case of Lady Gaga devotees, they are even willing to give out sexual favors for the chance to get close to Mother Monster.

Earlier this week, Lady Gaga released "Applause," the first single of her upcoming new album ARTPOP. In an effort to get the single to the top of the charts, the singer posted on Twitter that she would fly two fans to London to accompany her to the iTunes Festival. You just have to be the Little Monster who purchased the song the most times (and requested it on the radio).

The 2 fans w the most purchase/gift screenshots, radio requests, 'Applause' selfies/video, will fly international to meet me+watch the show!

— Lady Gaga (@ladygaga) August 13, 2013

The contest, predictably, got out of hand. According to The Examiner, some fans were spending upwards of $300 buying multiple copies of "Applause," which is currently available on iTunes for $1.29.

As if that wasn't ridiculous enough, one Los Angeles individual even went so far as to post a Craigslist ad offering fellatio "that will make you go GAGA" to anyone who had proof of purchase of the single. 

Here's another ad, from Miami:

In all likelihood, that desperate plea for the iTunes receipt is a hoax, not to mention a great way to drum up some publicity for the pop star. Unfortunately, no amount of oral stimulation could propel "Applause" to the top of the charts. The single currently stands at No. 4 on iTunes—right behind Katy Perry's new song "Roar," Robin Thicke's "Blurred Lines," and Luke Bryan's "That's My Kind of Night."

Photo via TJ Sengel/Flickr

A woman in Vancouver recovered her stolen bike after she found it for sale on Craigslist two weeks after the theft.

She called the thief, pretending to be someone interested in purchasing the bike, and met up with him at a McDonald’s. Earlier that day, she’d posted about the theft on Facebook, reported it to the police, and called her bike shop to get the bike’s serial number. But the police told her they could not get to her case that day.

Distraught, she posted on Reddit: “"THIS GUY IS SELLING MY BIKE RIGHT NOW!!!"

When she pulled up, she recognized her bike immediately by the stickers for her local bike shop and by the silver and black handlebars. On the fly, she asked the thief if she could take the bike around the parking lot and test it out. He said she could, but not to ride away with it.

On Reddit, she explained:

My heart was pounding and I had no idea what to do so I just got on the bike and was like fuck this guy and started to ride. As I was riding away, I called my friend who was driving to meet me as backup. I rode to the adjacent parking lot where she was pulling into as I was riding. We watched the guy start to look for me and he got super freaked out and he suddenly just took off running.

The serial numbers matched, of course, and the woman reported the thief to Crime Stoppers. Going in alone and without a plan may have been risky, but it appears everything went better than expected.

H/T Gawker | Photo via Reddit

Troubling new trend alert: In the last few months, there’s been a preponderance of Craigslist ads selling positive pregnancy tests. In May, a woman in Buffalo offered hers for $25, apparently as a response to heightened demand:

Then another seller in New Jersey decided to follow suit and offered $25 for her pregnancy test, in case you wanted to “get your boyfriend to finally pop the question” :

Even more troubling, the sellers assure they won’t ask questions and don’t care what the tests are being used for. However, there aren’t very many uses for a positive pregnancy test, outside of confirming a woman is pregnant. Unless you want to make, say, a dreamcatcher.

Could it be these tests are used for more nefarious purposes? Yes, that’s definitely the reason. Take this seller from Dallas:

This ad from Conroe, Texas, which has been branded by the website MediaTakeOut, echoes the previous ads and even hints at a possible ratchet network of women seeking positive tests. Or rather, “help.”

The ads continue to appear across the country, all with the same no-questions-asked, I’m-always-by-my-phone language. Might there also be a market for negative pregnancy tests? Sort of torn on this issue. I’m all for women with a business plan, and the concept of a ratchet network intrigues me, but this might be taking the idea of “lean in” a little too far.

Photo via Johannes Jander/Flickr

Sometimes it takes a major investigation to catch a pedophile.

Other times, a man will allegedly post a picture of a child to Craigslist, claim the two have sex, and bring the cops to his door.

On Friday, police arrested 45-year-old Michael Leory Moore of Portland, Oregon, for possession of child pornography. They only found him after a woman browsing the site's "casual encounters" section saw his post and reported it to police. 

"He talked about wearing her underwear," Shiloh Phelps told Fox 12 Oregon. She added that the post's author declared that "when mommy left, things would happen and how she loved it."

"It was just horrible," Phelps said.

The FBI found the Internet protocol (IP) address and Yahoo email address used to create that Craigslist post, which traced back to Moore. That same address was used to upload a single photo of two naked children to a Facebook page, they said, according to Oregon Live.

By the time agents raided his house, Moore had moved out, but cops found a three-ring binder of child porn in the garage. That was enough to warrant his arrest.

Illustration by Jason Reed

Do you live in a major U.S. city? Are you male? Have you responded to an online ad for sex recently? Then you may have unwittingly participated in a social experiment carried out by researchers at Arizona State University. Thanks for your help—and sorry you never heard back.

The project, titled “Invisible Offenders: A Study Estimating Online Sex Customers,” sought to estimate how many men are actively engaging in the world of Web-based sex buying, as recent media scrutiny has “increased awareness of the role of the demand or the buyer of sex in sex trafficking,” i.e., the “John” in the equation who often goes unpunished by our legal system when it comes to prostitution and other sexual exploitation.

The experimenters set up duplicate “decoy ads” in the Casual Encounters section of Craigslist and the adult/escorts section of Backpage.com for 15 different cities, collecting the phone numbers and texts of everyone who replied. When all was said and done, they had amassed 677 points of contact and 451 numbers.  

On average, they estimated, under 5 percent of men in a metropolitan city area—supposedly just those “over 18,” as if a curious youngster wouldn’t lie on a terms of use agreement—are soliciting online sex ads. Naturally, however, some regions are a little hornier than others:              

"On average, within the fifteen markets explored, one out over every 20 males over the age of 18 in a metropolitan city area was soliciting online sex ads. The findings ranged from approximately one out of every 5 males (Houston, 21.4%) to less than one of 166 males (San Francisco, .6%). In Houston, this study found that there were an estimated 169,920 males who were soliciting online sex ads, while in Phoenix; there were an estimated 78,412 males who were soliciting online sex ads."

Even nightlife capital Las Vegas, with 13.5 percent of its men on the prowl for sex via these services, is not so desperate for physical intimacy as super-horny Houston—perhaps because they have gambling and discount buffets to distract them. So guys, what gives? Have you tried just getting to know the women you meet in your day-to-day life? You’d be amazed how often that works.

Photo by Oliwilken/Flickr

The first few weeks I lived in Los Angeles, I spent every free moment scouring Craigslist for a dog. I’d live in New York City for four years, and none of my living situations were permanent or large enough for a little hound to thrive.

Finally settling into a nice carriage house out west, I decided I wanted a canine friend. But Craigslist yielded more weirdness than puppies. Eventually, I saw a Facebook post about a recently rescued yellow lab mix and decided to go for it. As a hippie I met later told me, “You don’t find a dog, man. A dog finds you.”

During the time I spent on Craigslist’s pet section though, I found plenty of posts that were at best unusual, at worst really messed up. Here are the 10 weirdest ads I encountered. Some of them are not safe for work or life. 

1) A woman collecting cat hair

This one by far takes the cake. I’m not even sure what to do with this. A woman on Craigslist wants cat owners to mail her their cat hair because she’s starting a collection in memory of her dead cat. Did I somehow travel back from my inevitable future and make this post?

Note: Serious inquiries only!

2) Emus for sale

There are plenty of exotic pets up for sale on Craigslist. Interested in your own personal emu? Look no further.

3) Free horse

Nothing sketchy about this free horse. You want a horse, but don’t want to pay for it? Are you a glue factory or a little girl? Are you a Romney who is just like, ugh, so many expensive horses, we can def afford to just give one away? Why is this horse free?!

4) Looking for Margie

This one has nothing to do with pets or animals. He’s just looking for a painter named Margie. Have you seen her? Is she a cat that can paint with its paws? Nope, just a human.

5) Pregnant donkey

You know, I would LOVE to purchase a donkey, but every one I find just isn’t pregnant. It’s such a bummer. Oh, would you look at that! This donkey is pregnant! Thank goodness because I need those donkey babies for... reasons.

6) Scary geckos

It’s not that weird to sell a gecko on Craigslist, but why would you use that terrifying photo? It looks like that gecko has come for my soul and is going to eat my face off in the night. That photo now haunts my dreams. It's this gecko’s gonna crawl out of the screen like the girl from The Ring and kill me.

7) 15 alpacas

Not one, not two, nope. 15 ALPACAS! Get them while supplies last.

8) 2 dozen free goats

If those 15 alpacas aren’t enough, you should probably take these goats off this man’s hands. They’re doing some serious damage. The best thing about this one is that he doesn’t even pretend like they’re well-behaved goats you may want to adopt. These goats are straight-up monsters.

9) Pet cat for hire

It’s a bad economy when even pets need jobs. This cat is looking for work as well, a cat. He’s got a CV and resume all ready, as well as explanations for why he’s been out of the work force the past few years. Hire this cat!

10) A cat’s butthole

When in doubt about your pet’s gender, always post a photo of their butthole to Craigslist. Then ask those who view it to text you their best guess on whether, judging by the cat’s butthole, it is a boy or a girl. Or you know, you could take it to the vet? Nah.

Photos via Craigslist

A white supremacist plans to create a neo-Nazi enclave on U.S. soil—and he's turned to Craigslist to populate it.

Craig Cobb, who's wanted on hate speech charges in Canada, snapped up a two-story home and a dozen other lots in the 24-person town he moved to last year. Until now, he kept his true strategy quiet. But if he has his way, Leith, N.D., will soon be known as "Cobbsville."

Cobb, 61, turned to Craigslist and message boards as he sought other nationalists to immigrate to the little town. He hopes to fill it with like-minded people draping Nazi flags everywhere. Cobb seemingly chose the town, which he apparently plans to take over through property ownership and elections, because it is close to well-paying jobs at oil fields.

“A few [well-known white nationalists] know of this plan; fewer still know the exact place. Suffice to say, you could also make it into the Bakken area to go for a job there too," Cobb wrote on a white supremacist site, the Bismarck Tribune revealed last week. "I want people to move now and quietly get going here without letting the cat out of the bag.”

Cobb bought his first Leith property in 2011, and paid around $8,600 for the home and plots. He sold or transferred ownership of some of the land to four others, according to The New York Times's John Eligon. So far, none have moved in.

Shocked residents are trying to buy back Cobb's land after learning of his intentions. However, the council has a drastic failsafe if enough of Cobb's cohorts move in to vote out the current legislature—they will dissolve the town first.

Leith has one black resident, Bobby Harper. He and his wife Sherrill plan to stay, despite Cobb describing her as a “filthy race-mixing white woman” online.

Meanwhile, in a Facebook post, Eligon, who is black, described his experience of interviewing Cobb. He paints Cobb in both his note and the Times piece as a fast talker who "inevitably" veers toward racial slurs. He's also someone who--despite his wish to not "let the cat out of the bag"--appears to inevitably draw attention to himself. And that just might be the biggest flaw in Cobb's grand plan.

Photo by Toby Ciranjiiva Tatsuyama-Kurk/Flickr

School’s back in session, and some young men at the University of Vermont in Burlington have already outlined their priorities for senior year. They’re looking for a special lady. More specifically, they’re looking for a “house MILF.”

That’s right, ladies. These discerning boys are seeking out a MILF (note that a MILF, by their definition, is a woman over 25). Here’s the rest, from their Craigslist ad:

We are a house of 10 men who all are seniors at UVM and are looking for an attractive older woman to come and cook for us every few days. In exchange she gets her pick of the men of the house to have.

Requirements aren't lengthy; be a woman older than 25 who can cook and would like to enjoy some hot sex with a number of fit 20 somethings. Hopefully you can come by every week for a meal and some play time. Obviously we can work to accommodate your schedule. ;)

We are located in Burlington, are a fun and clean group of guys, and are all 21+.

So, to recap, these young men are looking for—by the definition of MILF—a “mother” figure, for cooking, and also for doing it. You know, like a den mother. Seems like a sweet deal for these guys! The ad doesn't say what the woman will get out of this, besides the honor of having sex with them.

It’s worth noting that UVM’s fraternity system was involved in an itty-bitty little scandal last fall. The Sigma Phi Epsilon fraternity came under investigation after a survey was allegedly circulated that asked members whom they would rape.

Photo via jakeliefer/Flickr

Not sure whether to add a “special skills” section to your anemic résumé? Let this Seattle teenager who posted his credentials on Craigslist be your guide: sure, he was looking for any kind of odd job, but that doesn’t mean he was afraid to get personal.

“Hello my name is jose im a 14 year old latino looking for a job,” the ad begins, “i would like any job out there i would do anything to get money well not anything please email me with job offers i could take care of 10-13 kids and just about anything but not cleaning.” Not sure whether Jose means that he can babysit a few kids younger than himself or more than a dozen of them at a time, but so far, nothing unusual here—just an enterprising young man.

It’s in the next sentence that things take a turn for the weird: “also if you have a son thats addict to porn i can help him stop i been threw it too but i matured alot and im a responsible worker please take me serious not like a kid thank you.”

Sounds like quite a life Jose has led—hitting rock bottom and bouncing back all before he was old enough to drive. If you ask us, this guy needs to forget about menial labor; he has all the makings of a wildly successful self-help guru and ought to launch that career post-haste. 

Here’s hoping someone can hire Jose and find out if his method really works.

Still, when it comes to finding regular employment, it may be better not to mention the porn addiction thing like you’re a felon on parole just trying to make good. That’s really more of a break-room confession for your second week on the job.

Photo by dan barbus/Flickr

It must have been a match made in the afterlife, if not heaven.

With time running out at this week's Penny Arcade Expo, one young man turned to Craigslist to hookup with a gal open-minded enough to "try something weird" and screw a dude dressed like Beetlejuice. 

The unidentified 29-year-old desperately sought a "clean" woman with a free room and—for bonus points—a costume of her own. Helpfully, he included a photo of himself looking like a cross between Fat Mike of NOFX and the Michael Keaton character whose costume he adopted. 

It is not clear if anyone took up this guy's offer. However, if a lady did, she can take comfort in knowing that he was only the second-creepiest dude dressed as Beetlejuice recently, after Robin Thicke wore an identical suit for his MTVVideo Music Awards performance with Miley Cyrus last week.

This year for Halloween I would be Miley and my imaginary boyfriend would be Robin Thicke. Or Beetle Juice. pic.twitter.com/f6SR0G8j12

— Sandy From the Block (@CassandraDucote) August 31, 2013

Robin Thicke sure was Beetlejuice last night in that suit 😂😂 I can't ..😂😂 #VMAspic.twitter.com/vRZcmmJwaf

— Miles J (@meerkatmiles) August 27, 2013

Screenshot via movieclips/YouTube

Quite a few bad ideas end up on Craigslist. In the last couple weeks alone, there’s been a wealth of doozies. But sometimes, you take out a Craigslist ad because you got drunk and stole a cat.

A resident of Chico, Calif. explained this very situation in a Craigslist ad from Aug. 31, saying that, in a state of extreme intoxication, he picked up the black cat, thinking it was “just some random stray I was rescuing.” In the sober light of day, however, the catnapper remembered that the feline was still in the house, and that even though he claimed it was a stray, it had a collar and was named Django.

The thief also offered the important details: "Django is a very frisky black cat, he also has very sleepy eyes and appears to be stoned although I don't think he is."

“I have been feeding him cheese all morning and I really don't want him to shit all over my apartment,” he added.

That was a week ago. No word on whether Django is now lactose intolerant, or if he was reunited with his rightful, hopefully sober owners.

Photo via Tom Page/Flickr