If you buy this Dallas bro’s 1997 Jeep Wrangler, you can expect no less than 45 amazing things to happen to you, including more chest hair, sex in the yard, a higher salary, and bar fights.

That’s the hard sell of a priceless Craigslist ad that’s been rescued from oblivion by the dudes at BroBible, and it’s incredible. The ad begins:

“I should start by saying that if you are looking for a ‘Pajama party Barbie Jeep’ you my friend, should keep looking. If you are looking for a short description of to the beast before you, I can offer you two words ‘MEAT & POTATOES.’ This is the All American chariot of the free world.”

The ad says that the car will only be sold to a pure “American species.” It goes on and on with ridiculous gems. An except: “If you are looking for the kind of jeep that has to be pansy parked in the garage, so the ’carpet doesn’t get wet and soggy’ Then you should plant your Obama sticker on some Japanese piece of shit. Cause this thing has drain holes in the floor and rhino lined to let the blood drain out from the buffalo you just killed, with your bare hands. Because you are William Wallace from Braveheart and when you get home you can leave your ‘sissy sponge glove car wash kit’ in the pink bucket it came in.”

It then lists out the aforementioned life-changing events that will occur when you buy the car, some of which are just names like “Chuck Norris” and “John McCain.”

I imagine the ad was eventually pulled because someone in morning radio hired this guy.

H/T BroBible | Photo via Chrysler Group/Flickr

An Arizona man has been arrested for selling a home on Craigslist.

The problem? It wasn’t his home.

John David Seiberling, of Golden Valley, Ariz.,  is being charged with fraudulent schemes and theft after allegedly putting the house he was renting up for sale online, and then successfully closing the deal.

A 58-year-old woman called police after she and her husband couldn’t enter the home she’d bought from Seiberling with the keys he’d provided, according to 3TV News in Phoenix. The couple told police they’d bought the house from Seiberling with a $3,000 cashier’s check, but when they looked at the lease, the name on it was that of the actual homeowner. The owner then verified that Seiberling did not have permission to sell her house—especially not on Craigslist.

Selling stolen property on Craigslist—like bicycles and iPads—is common, but a whole house? That has to be a first, right?

Actually, no. The scam has been around since at least 2009, when it targeted a North Carolina homeowner. If a house on Craigslist sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

H/T 3TV News | Photo via 3TV News

You can always spot an apartment-for-rent ad on Craigslist, with its tell-tale dialect of random caps locks, asterisks, and exclamation points. This lingua franca of Internet real estate has evolved from an environment of brokers pedaling overpriced, windowless sublets.

Of course, this fact is easily lost on those desperate for a place to live. After a few weeks on Craigslist, with the end of the month coming near, one begins to believe the uppercase enthusiasm of words like “****COZY****” and “!!!PRICED TO MOVE!!!”  

But if ever you need a reminder of the true purpose of this Internet-broker dialect, check out the Broker Bodega, a new Tumblr that deploys this brokerspeak to advertise standard corner-store fare like mouthwash and spaghetti.

For example, this ad for Bounty paper towels:

Or this one, for Vicks VapoRub:

One could imagine, someday, a group of Internet archeologists coming across Craigslist brokerspeak and wondering how it came about, what formatting like “___///[insert adjective]\\\___” could possibly mean. Hopefully, they will discover the Broker Bodega, the language’s Rosetta Stone that reveals its true purpose: to sell you garbage.

H/T @heyveronica | Photo by s o d a p o p/Flickr

A shocking case of animal abuse that galvanized dog lovers across the country has put a renewed focus on Craigslist’s potential responsibility in abetting animal cruelty and sparked calls for the popular classifieds site to change its policies surrounding animal adoptions.

On Aug. 31, a female dog who rescuers named ‟Puppy Doe” was found wandering the streets of the Boston suburb of Quincy, Mass. The Animal Rescue League of Boston reported that Puppy Doe was at half the normal weight for a dog of her age and breed, was suffering from bone fractures in her skull and spine as a result of savage beatings, and had a stab wound in her right eye.

The dog died soon after being taken in by authorities.

“The injuries cataloged in the post-mortem examination are grotesque and indicate consistent starvation and abuse over an extended period of time,” Norfolk County District Attorney Michael W. Morrissey said in a statement. “It is highly unlikely that this level of sadistic cruelty could be shown to one animal and not be part of a pattern involving other animals or perhaps vulnerable people.”

“Words cannot adequately describe the shocking suffering that Puppy Doe endured,” added Animal Rescue League President Mary Nee.

Local authorities were deluged with tips after putting out a call for information regarding the case and were eventually directed to Radoslaw Czerkawski, a 32-year-old undocumented immigrant from Poland living in Connecticut. Authorities claim that a bloody paw print and scratch marks on a door were discovered at the home in which Czerkawski was staying, which is near the park where Puppy Doe was discovered.

Czerkawski was charged with 11 counts of animal cruelty as well as one count of misleading police investigators.

The defendant allegedly procured Puppy Doe after answering a Craigslist posting by someone looking to give the dog away a few months prior. Some animal activists see Craigslist allowing these types of transactions to happen in the first as the site essentially facilitating animal cruelty. 

A Change.org petition, which has tallied more than 345,000 signatures, slammed Craigslist as the ‟go-to source for animal abusers looking for victims because it is anonymous and there is no accountability or screening process like regular shelters and rescue groups provide.”

The petition called on Craigslist to alter its policy on pet re-homing from one that’s relatively open to one requiring all adoptions to go through registered shelters, which could prevent animals from falling into the hands of abusers.

In a post about the Puppy Doe case, Craigslist CEO Jim Buckmaster called the petition ‟misguided,” arguing that the direct re-homing of pets through the site is actually in the best interest of the animals themselves due to widespread overcrowding at the vast majority of ‟no kill” shelters across the country. ‟Countless pets find good homes on CL, saved from unnecessary euthanization (shelters have to put down 3 million healthy pets yearly),” wrote Buckmaster. ‟In fact, CL ‛pets’ is a primary tool shelter volunteers themselves use to find homes for dogs and cats they would otherwise have to kill.”

Craigslist prohibits the sale of animals over the site, but allows people giving an animal away to charge a small adoption fee.

Teresa Chagrin, an Animal Care and Control Specialist at People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals, charges that, because what constitutes a reasonable re-homing fee is left open to interpretation, dog breeders who would otherwise be banned from advertising on the site have been allowed to pose as rescue outfits simply looking to recoup their costs incurred by simply trying to find abandoned pets a new home. Some breeders, she insists, have gone as far as registering with the government as nonprofit shelters.

‟[What happened to Puppy Doe] is not an isolated incident by any means. It happens all the time. These online ads are extremely dangerous to animals.” said Chagrin. ‟The problem is that Craigslist is a self-policed website...Once people give an animal up on Craigslist, it’s impossible to know what happens to them.”

PETA noted that it routinely reaches out directly to individuals giving away animals on the site to inform them of the dangers that could come to the animals if they aren’t placed in a good home. The organization also advocated for Craigslist to place a brief warning about giving animals away for free on the top of its pets section.

Representatives from Craigslist did not respond to a request for comment.

Czerkawski is scheduled to appear in court for a pretrial hearing in late November.

Photo by Justice For “Puppy Doe”/Facebook

Craigslist isn’t just a place for scams, naked keyboard salesmen, and unwanted children. If you poke around long enough, you may be able to find cow costumes that cost thousands of dollars and appear strangely familiar—like they belong to a national chicken chain.

Robert Michael Trytten, of Riverside, Calif., allegedly stole two full-size, seven-foot cow costumes from a Chick-fil-A storage facility in Redwoods, Calif., just outside San Bernardino. The costumes are occasionally worn by employees during in-store promotional events, and they’re worth serious money. According to LAist, each cow suit carries a $2,800 price tag—or approximately 933 Chick-fil-A sandwiches. With pickles.

Trytten, unaware of this fact, was selling them for $350 apiece on Craigslist, complete with photos.

An undercover officer who spotted the listing posed as an interested buyer, telling Trytten the outfits “would make the perfect his-and-hers costumes for him and his wife.” The sting operation worked. Not only does Trytten face a possession-of-stolen-property charge, but he probably won’t be eating “mor chikin” anytime soon. 

H/T LAist | Photo via Theodore Lee/Flickr

Anonymous’ campaign against Church of Scientology recruiting attempts on Craigslist is a success, a member of the hacking collective told the Daily Dot.

The Church of Scientology reportedly posted between 100 and 200 Craigslist ads a day in a number of major metropolitan areas to attract recruits to the group, which many consider a cult. The ads, Anonymous maintains, broke Craigslist’s Terms of Service. 

Anonymous posted a legion of counter-ads to focus attention on this breach, and the action seems to have been successful. 

“Even though there has never been any public response from Craigslist, the tables have turned,” an Anonymous representative told the Daily Dot in an email. 

“Within a day of stories breaking, our flagging seemed to be recognized. Church accounts appear to have been banned in a number of cities, and in larger cities where hundreds of ads were posted daily (such as New York City and San Francisco), all have been knocked down to pretty minimal amounts, which we can usually flag away with general ease," the source reported.

Anonymous' success hasn't entirely stopped the recruiting effort, though, and it seems to have angered Church of Scientology higher-ups.

Anonymous shared a letter it claimed to have received from a former Scientologist, which purports to give a glimpse inside the church’s reaction to the Anonymous campaign. They asked the Daily Dot to not quote the letter directly because “(t)hey still have family in the cult and if they are found to be the source of any information, they will force disconnection and they will never be able to speak to this person again.”

According to the letter, at least three Directors of Special Affairs, a Scientology executive rank, have found out about the Anonymous counter-posts and have informed the Office of Special Affairs, Scientology’s investigation service.

The author of the letter also informed Anonymous that several Scientology representatives have contacted Craigslist in an attempt to block the counter-ads as hate speech, a charge Anonymous denies.

“(M)any of our counter-posts distinctly say that we don't hate Scientologists,” said the same Anonymous source, “just that we cannot tolerate an organization that perpetrates various human rights abuses and bilks people out of their hard-earned money for access to so-called religious doctrine and to fund a vast real estate empire, and isolates its members from the rest of the world.”

A new development seems to be a crude phishing email targeting those posting counters to the Scientology ads on Craigslist: 

"Hi,

Nice writing to you, a few minutes ago I read your post on craigslist and it attracted me, right now I have some work need you if you have time,

for the details please read [link] which I post with descriptions.

If you have any questions feel free to shoot me an email.

Regards,

Jenna Hill"

The redacted link leads to a page that asks for the user’s Craigslist account password. 

It is worth noting that Jenna Miscavige Hill is a well-known critic of Scientology and the niece of David Miscavige, the church’s current leader. This could be a coincidence, but Anonymous believes it’s evidence of a Scientology connection.

“We cannot confirm that the Church of Scientology is on the other end of this, but find it highly suspect given the name provided in the e-mail,” Anonymous said. 

The Church of Scientology did not respond to a request for comment. 

Photo by scragz/Flickr

The word “Craigslist” in a headline typically signals a sleazy or disturbing story, so prepare to be surprised.

A Connecticut couple bought a desk on the site for $200, soon realized that $98,000 in cash had been hidden inside it, and returned that entire sum to the desk’s original owner.

For most of us, such a happy accident would be the prelude to a whirlwind tour of the world’s most expensive beach resorts—and you’d never hear about our luck on the local news. But most of us aren’t Rabbi Noah Muroff. “Right away my wife and I sort of looked at each other,” he told New Haven affiliate WTNH, deciding right then that they couldn’t keep the money.

A generous decision, to be sure, but also a good way to avoid involvement in a Breaking Bad–style drug plot. The stacks of hundred-dollar bills were discovered in a plastic bag behind the drawers when the Muroffs tried to move the desk into the rabbi’s office, found it wouldn’t fit through the door, and began to take it apart. Had they been more meticulous in their measurements, Muroff might still be working obliviously atop a pile of Benjamins at this very moment.

The couple, who noted that “the most important thing in life is to be honest,” quickly called the person who had put the desk up for sale online, recording their conversation. When informed of the odd discovery, the original owner was briefly overwhelmed by her own good fortune, eventually explaining that she had stuffed an inheritance into the desk and later forgotten exactly where she had placed it.

Predictably, for Internet commenters, the story soon devolved into a shouting match over the inherent morality of religious types and whether an atheist would have returned the money. Over here, we’re just still wondering about that desk. Did the Muroffs ever get it into that room? And did they get their $200 back, as a finder’s fee of sorts? Because, again, for a story about Craigslist, this sounds too good to be true.

H/T WTNH | Photo by Mellie Smith/Flickr

Let's face it: $225,000 can go a long way on Craigslist. You can buy the company of multiple escorts, several thousand pieces of broken IKEA furniture in "good" condition—or even a whole town.

The entire ghost town of Seneca in northern California is up for sale, and its owner has turned to Craigslist in an effort to unload the property. 

Screengrab via Craigslist

"Want to buy a ghost town with a bar and liquor license?" the owner wrote in the unintentionally hilarious posting. "It comes with all rights (mineral, timber, etc). There are no known environmental hazards. We have owned since the mid-1970's."

Several run-down cabins and even an island are part of the deal. The liquor license add-on is especially highlighted, since licenses in Plumas County are rare. Physical attributes aside, the community is also rife with historical significance: It was home of the "Woodstock of the West" festival in the 1970s ("we have a clipping somewhere," notes the owner) and is "very close to, or containing a historic Chinese-built gold mine."

Photo via Craigslist

Granted, Seneca is not without its setbacks.

• "The area isn't suitable for anyone in shaky health."
• "The town is extremely remote and access is weather dependent."
• "There are no utilities and there is no business activity here at present."
• "The gorgeous little Feather River provides water via a pipe."
• "If you visit the area at this time of year be sure to travel with winter weather equipment. It is on a dirt road that is often unplowed. A local resident has occasionally done some plowing. There are extreme drop-offs and it is one of the most extreme roads in the region. Be very careful!"

Photo via Craigslist

We're not sure if the child smoking a cigarette is part of the sale.

It's not the first time a town has been put up for sale online—cities have been on and offeBay for a decade now—but on Craigslist, Seneca could be a pioneer. At this rate, it's only a matter of time before Detroit goes on the market.

Photo via Damian Gadal/Flickr

Hypothetical scenario: You find an escort online. You head to a hotel to meet said escort. You pay her, but before any sex happens, she kicks you out. Would you brush it off?

Or would you instead dress up as a cop in an attempt to confront her, even if you could be arrested by real cops shortly after?

A Florida man named Ian Enrique Naveira chose the latter. On Nov. 12, the 28-year-old Boynton Beach resident allegedly made contact with a 24-year-old woman on Backpage.com, who then agreed to meet at a Super 8 in Lantana, Florida. According to court documents, she took $80 from him, but didn’t hold up her end of the deal.

The disgruntled Naveira left, procured a tactical vest and hat belonging to his father, a USDA inspector (who was obviously clueless about the whole thing), and confronted the woman and her boyfriend at the hotel. They called 911, claiming Naveira was doing a “bad impression” of a police officer.

The hat he was wearing was emblazoned with a United States Department of Agriculture logo. That might have tipped off the couple.

Naveira started to brawl with the boyfriend. Then the actual cops showed up.

This is some next-level Ronnie Dobbs foolery.  

Naveira is currently being held on one count of impersonating a law enforcement officer. Stories like these are why the @_FloridaMan Twitter exists. Earlier this week, another Boynton Beach man was arrested for pulling a gun on his trainer, who’d simply asked him to put away his weights. Never change, Florida.

Photo via Keith Allison/Flickr

Times are tough out there for a writer, perhaps even more so for critics—we can’t think of one who wouldn’t jump at the chance for paid work. Luckily, as a Craigslist job posting reveals, the mastermind behind ToiletFinder.com is shelling out cash for witty reviews of public restrooms.

You read that correctly: computer programmer and web architect Michael Li will pay you $100 to contribute to a site “dedicated to the art and science of finding publicly-accessible venues” in which to “do the dirty.” Currently, the content on ToiletFinder.com is user-generated, resulting in a Yelp-like experience. But Li would prefer a comprenehsive and professionally turned-out Zagat guide to New York City’s finest and foulest facilities. Also, only college graduates need apply.

In fact, demand for the position is likely to be so high that Li has turned the hiring process into something of a contest (not to mention a way of adding members to the ToiletFinder.com network), with a sense of humor and the ability to defecate frequently both invaluable assets:  

Search for, and pick a venue that has not been reviewed, and is accessible to the public on ToiletFinder.com. This should be a venue at which you have personal experience. Write a humorous review for that venue's toilet. Be creative, helpful, and slightly disgusting. Not necessarily in that order, LOL. Remember, the goal is to have fun while helping to make peoples' lives easier. Email me the link to your ToiletFinder.com profile, and your PayPal email address. From there, I will be able to read your submission(s). If you make me laugh, I'll PayPal you $20 simply for submitting a good entry.

After a week, Li will pick the best toilet critic as his official copywriter for the site, which is “ on track to making $200-$500 a day within six months,” making them eligible to receive “a percentage” of its daily Google AdSense profits. But the competition is bound to be fierce, as even the casual reviews make plain. Take this commentary on a movie theater bathroom in Sheepshead Bay, for example:

Upon my delicate journey to the toilet, I find myself occasionally stepping on a few used up napkins, several candy wrappers, crushed up popcorn seeds, and some puke if you go there on a weekend. Once you reach the prize, you're quite disappointed. Out of the 4 toilets available, 3 of them are usually clogged with a zesty combination of urine and poop. According to one's taste, this may or may not be an attraction.

So if you have a stomach for stenches and scatological surveys, consider making them your specialty. And should you have any qualms about compromising your craft, remember: James Joyce wrote as much about this stuff as anyone who’s ever lived. To elevate the discussion of our baser needs is nothing short of noble.

Photo by Greg Braaten/Flickr   

Look at this Craigslist ad and tell me if your heart doesn’t actually stop beating for a minute. Three hundred pounds of bacon. It’s an unfathomable amount of meat. And it’s free—first come first serve. Conceivably, if you’ve got the means to transport and freeze it, this could be a lifetime supply of hog belly.

I found the ad (actually, a guy named Dan Bobkoff did) two hours after it was posted. I called, but no one picked up; presumably the seller is dead from trying to consume an entire farm’s worth of pigs. Time.com’s Alex Fitzpatrick used some reverse-image-search trickery to find the source of the photo, too, and it looks like it comes from an article about a bacon festival in Iowa earlier this year. (The title: “Bacon, Bacon, Bacon!” Smart SEO, KCCI News.)

Like everything on Craigslist, from the apartment listings to the personals to the missed connections, there’s only a 0.05 percent chance it’s a real offer and not a guy in Yonkers trying to turn your abdominal skin into a belt. All I’m saying is don’t get too excited. 

@_Cooper@versharma@mbyhoff More like a baCON ACT, amirite

— SS Private Equity (@PE_Feeds) November 14, 2013

Feels like a (delicious) trap RT @_Cooper: ATTN http://t.co/cPiic8Hh3Epic.twitter.com/yxfyqDRGQS

— Mike Hayes (@michaelhayes) November 14, 2013

But come on, it’s 300 pounds of bacon. Let the legend live on in your heart—just like bacon does.

. @AlexJamesFitz@_Cooper Yeah, I have no idea if the bacon ad is real. I kinda don't want to know.

— Dan Bobkoff (@danbobkoff) November 14, 2013

300 pounds of bacon. 300 POUNDS OF BACON. RT@_Cooper ATTN http://t.co/SmndOA8lGS… pic.twitter.com/M6ENCU4qOX

— Shakthi J (@ShakthiJ) November 14, 2013

Photo via cookbookman/Flickr

It might be the most romantic Craigslist missed connection advertisement ever written.

It was the eve of Thanksgiving, 1974. He was rushing to catch a train at New York City’s Grand Central station when her blond hair and plaid dress stopped him cold. Seized by a feeling of “uncharacteristic courageousness,” he walked up to her and started a conversation.

“You were studying at Oberlin, and on your way to spend Thanksgiving with your aunt in Jersey City,” the ad reads. “After explaining to you where you could get a bus, I asked, in spite of knowing it would mean sacrificing my last chance to spend the holiday with my family (and likely infuriate my over-protective mother), if you wanted to get a drink and you said yes.”

After sipping beer at the station, the two retreated to his dorm at New York University to share a half-finished bottle of red wine. They made love that night. The next day they smoked cigarettes and talked about philosophy for hours before she caught a bus to New Jersey. A few weeks later, he received a letter from her with no return address. 

This woman was unforgettable. Now, nearly 40 years later, he hopes to share one more drink with her.

“My life has known it's share of triumphs and heartaches, of love and loss,” he wrote on Craigslist. “Against my better judgement, I haven't forgotten that day - and, at least once a year, while mowing the lawn, or reading a newspaper, the details come back to me.”

With a lack of personal information and specific details, it’s hard not to imagine the ad as some creative writing experiment or a reinterpretation of Before Sunrise— but the hopeless romantic hopes for a fairy tale ending.

Photo by  Lucius Kwok/Flickr

The Craigslist rental game is rough. Misleading photos, terrible locations, roommates from hell; you’re almost certainly getting ripped off—so it’s nice to know someone’s out there who doesn’t care about making a profit. He’s offering an incredible deal: a D.C. penthouse for just $1 a month. One dollar. That’s unheard of. There’s gotta be a catch, right? 

Well, you’ve gotta be 26 or younger and “very attractive.” OK, whatever. It’s his space.

You also have to be naked.

“Sounds crazy, but this is for real,” the poster writes. “I’m a male looking for another male (straight or bisexual w/girlfriend preferred, but masc gay is cool too) to be my naked roommate.”

You should also be OK with a little groping and fondling—just a little. “Arrangement would be mostly ‘looking’ but some ‘touching’ will be required,” he says. How much and how often are negotiable. 

HuffPo wasn’t sure if a grope-for-rent deal was kosher, so it reached out to a legal expert. Could you be evicted if you throw on pants? What happens if you’re no longer comfortable with the touching? 

“I don't think the fear of eviction could be eliminated because you can't say certainly that the agreement would not be enforced,” D.C. landlord-tenant attorney Dorene Haney said. “And the landlord might try to evict the tenant, legally or not, if it were not performed. ... I don't think the nudity is illegal, but I don’t know if a court would enforce that part of the agreement either.”

So things could get pretty messy, which is about par for the course when you’re not wearing pants.

H/T Curbed | Photo via travelingbone/Flickr

When Rosario Yepiz posted his 1999 Lincoln on Craigslist, he did so with a goal in mind: Funding a trip to Disneyland for his daughter’s birthday on Dec. 4. And the Lodi, Calif. man took the necessary precautions after finding a buyer, knowing the site can attract shady types.

He still ended up getting carjacked.

According to KXTV’s News 10, Yepiz told the prospective buyer to meet him in the parking lot of a Denny’s, in the middle of the day, and brought his wife and two kids with him. A man and woman arrived, and the man suggested they do a test drive, while the woman waited in their car. The man also suggested Yepiz drive:

"I just try to give him the keys, and I say, you drive. And he's like, 'no, no you drive; the car is not in my name, and we haven't done no paper work or nothing, so it's in your name,'" Yepiz said.

As the two drove away, Yepiz’s wife, Guadalupe, monitored the woman in the other car, noting that she’d moved from the passenger seat to the driver’s seat. The woman then drove away, and Guadalupe wrote down the license plate number, sensing something wasn’t right. At about that same time, Rosario was being carjacked, and left on the side of the road.

The San Joaquin Sheriff's Department has descriptions of the two suspects, and the car they were initially driving was also reportedly stolen. For now, the Yepiz family is not going to Disneyland, though, this being the Internet, people are already looking for ways to help them.

Photo via SnapAdik/Flickr

Parents anxious over the outlandish requests on their kids’ Christmas lists can breathe a little easier now, because barring some kind of elaborate Craigslist hoax—and how often does one come across those?—a pair of unicorns are up for sale in New Hampshire.

First, the bad news: These majestic creatures come as a set, and they’re going to cost you $930,000. Each. Though when you consider that even one such specimen would be priceless, getting both for under $2 million actually sounds like a bargain.

The seller, who appears to hail from Goffstown, just outside Manchester, is by all indications an experienced breeder and unicorn expert. Here are the relevant details, should you be in the market for pets that are ready to aid you on a fantastic quest:

"We are selling 2 purebred unicorns. Male is 3 years old named Pagasus. Female is 5 years old and named Daisy. Price of $930,000 USD is per unicorn. Unicorns are hand fed from birth, and require just as much attention if you do decide to welcome a unicorn into your home. We are the only fully licensed unicorn breeder in North America, and are NUBAA certified. Call now to be put on the waiting list, on which wait times start at 9 months out. SERIOUS INQUIRIES ONLY PLEASE. We also offer unicorn eggs for purchase."

Personally, I wouldn’t want the stress of trying to hatch a baby unicorn myself, cute and wondrous as that experience may be. On the question of training, however, we notice that there’s no mention of the adults being housebroken. Buyer beware!

Photo via Craigslist

Items on Craigslist can have all sorts of interesting former owners. Take, for example, a house“owned" by Breaking Bad character Walter White. Or how about an engagement ring that was previously worn by none other than Satan, the Prince of Darkness?

Or should we say “princess”?

On Dec. 4, a man posted an ad selling an engagement ring to the Scranton, Pennsylvania, Craigslist. With no bitterness or hostility at all, the poster described the ring's various specifications, like its $1,800 asking price, its 1.5 carat weight—and the fact that it was "only worn for a short period of time by Satan herself."

Photo via craigslist

It's stunning to look at, but buyer beware! The poster assumes no responsibility if the ring rains "swarms of locusts" upon you and recommends having its curse removed by a "voodoo priest or something."

Act fast, though. According to the ad, "if not sold by Christmas I plan to throw it into the fires of Mordor."

Good luck with that. We’re told you can’t just walk in. 

Photo via Aurimas/Flickr

Jim Vester, a 32-year-old former National Guard Sergeant at Arms, thought he was meeting up with his Craigslist correspondent to buy an iPad as a Christmas gift on Wednesday.

Instead, in a parking lot near an Indianapolis high school, two assailants shot him, robbed him, and fled.

Photo via Facebook

In the wake of the murder, nearly 1,500 people have rallied around an Indiana widow and her son, raising nearly $60,000 in three days to help the family through the holidays.

Now, two brothers, 19-year-old Tryon Kincade and 18-year-old Tyshaune Kincade, have been charged with Vester’s murder. And a YouCaring.com fundraiser to support Vester’s wife, Jamie, and their son, 1-year-old Gavin, has gone viral, with more than 6,000 shares on Facebook and more than $58,000 raised since Thursday night.

Jamie Vester is an Indianapolis-area photographer who recently posed for photos together with her husband and son.

Photo via YouCaring

Their photographer, Sarah Hill, told Indianapolis news station WTHR that the incident had scared her away from using Craigslist permanently:

"I would recommend no one using Craigslist anymore, honestly. You just never know. Jim's not a dumb man. He didn't make a stupid choice," Hill said. "There's no protection, they can say to meet in a public place or during the day. This happened during the day, in broad daylight."

"Pay full price. A Craigslist deal is not worth a life. Just pay full price," echoed family friend Sarah Benson.

WTHR reported rumors that no money was taken from Vester in the robbery, and that he was armed with a handgun at the time of the shooting. The suspects are currently being held without bail.

The fundraiser for Vester’s family will run through Dec. 31.

Photo via Facebook

For most people, the biggest downside of higher education is the cost. So who in their right mind would turn down a chance to study at Harvard, all expenses covered—and get a salary for it, to boot? Assuming they aren’t averse to a little identity fraud, that is.  

This opportunity of a lifetime comes to us via Craigslist, where an apparently schoolwork-averse and extremely wealthy young man just admitted to the Ivy League university is hiring an accomplice in an outrageous academic caper: just show up next August and enroll as him. 

“All you have to do,” he blithely explains, “is attend all classes, pass all tests, and finish all assigned work, while pretending you are me.” Tuition, boarding, and other living expenses are taken care of, and on top of that you’ll make $40,000 a year. Walk away with a diploma in 2018 and you’ll get a $10,000 bonus (but probably won’t get to keep the enviable credential).

Click to expand:

“You do not need to worry about being accepted,” the poster writes. “I have already taken care of that.” What you do need to worry about is your own academic strengths: a 4.0 high school GPA, or 3.5 for a university, is a must. Once you get to Harvard, of course, it’s all easy A’s. 

You’ll have to sign a non-disclosure agreement, though I have my doubts about a crime-based contract holding up in court. I’d just take the first payment and then out this dude on a prime-time CNN show. Sure, it might be nice to spend a few semesters smartening up in a Cambridge library, but upending the life of someone who thought he could skate clear through it? Priceless.

We forwarded the ad to Harvard's director of admissions, Marlyn E. McGrath, who was rather unfazed by the con. "I think this is a modern variant of an old phenomenon, made easier by technology," she wrote. "I have nothing helpful to say, I'm afraid, but you are good to send this along."

Photo by Mitch/Flickr

Though thousands of residents of the greater New York City have offered their homes for rent for the Super Bowl, one online ad is a bit more awkward than the others.

New York Giant Cooper Taylor is renting his 2 bedroom apartment on Craigslist for the big game in February. $9,000 for the week.

That's a particularly rough development, considering fans' preseason hope that the Giants could have been the first team in history to play a Super Bowl in their home stadium. Those hopes were quickly dashed as they started the season with six straight losses, becoming mathematically eliminated from the playoffs on Dec. 8.

Taylor's ad is coy, and doesn't mention that he's a player, simply noting that "We are big fans of a local team here and unfortunately will not be attending this year." But the injury-ridden rookie safety confirmed to local news that it was indeed his apartment.

"We thought it would be the best time to get out of the city and go on vacation," he told the New York Post.

He added that he and his girlfriend, a broker, normally pay $2,700 a month for the place.

H/T FTW  | Photo via Wikimedia Commons

New York’s stone-faced billionaire mayor will be leaving office soon. Why not immortalize his reign with a painting fit for royalty? For a mere $1,200, you can own a piece of history—and all you have to do is respond to this Craigslist ad.

Polish painter Ismena Halkiewicz put together this fine specimen in 2008 just before Bloomberg won his third term as mayor of America’s most populous city.

“Attention should be paid to the detail in texture in the suit,” writes the seller. “The owl represents wisdom and the ability to see things that are hidden, stealth, swiftness, darkness, freedom.”

Well, duh. And the blood drops with dollar signs that make up the piece’s background need little explanation.

If this somehow doesn’t sell for $1,200, the price is negotiable. So, yes, you can pay $1,300 if you wish.

New York, I love you, but you’re freaking me out.

H/T @justinjm1